Accepting Limits

“We are idol-making factories. But God has called us to good things, unique things. Things that are often far more simple, and straightforward than we are trying to claw our lives into being.” 

– Risen Motherhood podcast

Then we decided to get a puppy. 

We have always wanted a family dog. John and I had the best-laid plans for the day we would bring a puppy home. We would have built a fence ahead of time. Owen would be old enough to help feed and walk her. And we would find a dog with the perfect temperament for our family – one who wouldn’t need to run to get zoomies out, but would keep us moving a reasonable amount, one who is good with children and the best cuddle-buddy around, one that would know how safe she is in her crate and would thrive there each night, while also accepting it happily each day when the family goes along our way. 

*I now realize the “puppy” of our dreams is an older, more seasoned, dog.* (facepalm)

Nonetheless, Olive is ours. She fits our family well. She is truly a calm puppy, and has a sweet temperament. But as many puppies (and toddlers) do, she acts out. She’s teething, losing baby teeth left and right. She doesn’t know how to follow commands or directions that we are tasked with teaching her. She, understandably, gets the zoomies every now and then. 

She doesn’t fully know the rhythms of our life, and almost as soon as she is comfortable in our routine, it changes. She can absolutely become the dog of our dreams, with her own personality and quirks included, but she can’t be that immediately. She has to learn over time.

Just as I did not anticipate my time limits pre-puppy, I also did not realize my attitude limits. I have lost sleep the last few months and cleaned up more pee and poop than I can count, and have taken more walks than I did before… but the most jarring effect of Olive on our lives was how much these other limitations shook us. 

John and I have lost our patience a few too many times lately. Before Olive, we would have kept our heads, but her presence and puppy-isms have thrown us off our game. 

And just as she has jostled our lives, my routines that helped me remain calm before were jostled. Instead of dropping Owen off at school and returning home to my coffee and Bible, I need to take Olive on a walk. Once we return, my schedule is inevitably mixed up and I have lost my focus. 

Isn’t God like that, though? Just as we think we’ve mastered one area of life, God allows our weakness to show where we lack. And I have allowed too many other things (tv shows, crime podcasts, social media, etc.) to distract me in my frustration.

When I found the Risen Motherhood podcast again, their mini-series on Abundance was particularly poignant for me. Their episode, Accepting Limitations has helped me to see where I have not been accepting my season in life. 

Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler push their listeners to consider four thoughts in that episode:

1. Accept who God has made me to be. I do not need to function the way any other human does. I need to accept who I am in the Lord, and move forward from there.
2. Remember what God has called me to do. I do not need to do what the mom two doors down, in my church, or on Instagram or other social media does. I need to be faithful to do the next right thing in my life for God.
3. Do you have room to pivot or change as you think through your limits? Am I so busy that I cannot pause to feel the Holy Spirit’s prompting in my life?
4. Are you leaning into your faith community? Do I call on help from my faith friends when I am weak? Do I allow others to step into my life? 

My attitude of impatience, stress, and anxiety shows me that I have room to grow. Olive, while an impulsive addition to our family, is the addition we needed to loosen our expectations on ourselves and our time. She shows me how, once again, I cannot control the outcomes of our life… I cannot control my days. 

What I can control is how I choose to live. I can choose to create a different time of day for my Bible study. I can choose to stop overreacting to Olive being a puppy. I can choose to love her and give her stability when she needs it. I can choose to give up the time I designated for “me” to better care for my family. I can choose to ask God what He would have me do in each area of life. 

Perhaps the more interesting question here is, why do I think control will give me peace?

No matter what you think of me, I pray you find hope in the fact that God uses every turn in our lives for our good and His glory. I pray just as God used our pup to rock my world, He’ll use your life to show His strength in your weakness. 

“What is in front of you? That is what God has called you to be faithful in.” 

– Risen Motherhood podcast

Written by Leah Honnen.
Leah Honnen is a wife, momma, and infertility warrior living in Jacksonville, IL. She is a homemaker and volunteers at her church, but loves spending time fixing up her pre-1920s home with her husband, John. Leah writes on the lessons she continues to learn in daily life – through infertility, motherhood, music, friendships, and more on Instagram @leahhonnen.