Examine Your Heart: Assume Generously

I’ve got a confession: I’ve been a jerk lately.

I have become increasingly annoyed by parts of my daily life. It’s become second nature to complain to my husband or friends that other people in our lives are frustrating me. I have distracted myself with other people’s mistakes. I’ve assumed that they have negative intentions, often in the smallest ways. Even when we are both serving at our church.

I would probably still be numb to my attitude, complacent even, except I have a friend who recently called me out on my negative assumptions. She did not call me out only once, either. But a few times now. It’s taken me about a month for that truth to sink in.

I’ve struggled to recognize my own complacency and pride. And as I take a moment and truly consider myself, my heart, my mind for the first time in months, I see that I have been protecting myself in retreat, ignoring how my actions affect those around me. I’ve burrowed my way into caring more for my work, my hobbies, my personal time, my daily schedule than caring to seek the Lord in my daily walk of life. I have cushioned myself in the foggy, cozy space of ignoring my superior attitude… allowing my fears and insecurities and haughtiness to run un-checked against the word of God.

In my foggy brain, a phrase keeps repeating, gaining clarity. It calls me back to seek the Lord, especially as I relate to other people: “Assume generously.” My friend has repeated this phrase to me the last few weeks. She shared how she learned it early on in adulthood from another friend. It stuck with her, much as I now experience it sticking to me.

That same friend invited my family into a bible study with theirs. It’s the type of weekly touchpoint my soul needs. We gather. We share snacks. We discuss our highs and lows. We study the Bible together, discuss, and pray. The older kids run rampant upstairs while the littles climb all over us. We spend time together for the purpose of studying God’s word.

We are studying 1 Corinthians. Paul called out attitudes like mine in that church. Much like my friend called my attitude out for me this month.

1 Corinthians 4:6 says, ‘Now, brothers and sisters, I have applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you may learn from us the meaning of the saying: “Nothing beyond what is written.” The purpose is that none of you will be arrogant, favoring one person over another.’

I know Paul wrote this for the church from his day. The context is different. The Corinthians were claiming to be followers of Paul or Apollos or other disciples instead of followers of Christ. They were boasting in their allegiance to another human, missing the point of who Christ was and still is today: our savior, the only one deserving of our allegiance.

I can still apply this to my life.

“Nothing beyond what is written.” I should not assume anything more than what is written in God’s word. That means, first, I have to KNOW what is in God’s word. So that then, I can test my assumptions, my thoughts, and my feelings against God’s word. Once tested, I am not to be arrogant, thinking that I am somehow above God’s word. I am called to check myself against the bible in order to call out my arrogance, my boasting in anything other than God’s word.

Rather than living as a follower of Christ, I have been living for myself. Treating my instincts and feelings as somehow more important than God’s direction in the bible. Now, through my friend and more importantly, through God’s word, I have been called out of that falsehood (again).

I recognize anew that we, as believers of Christ, are ALL servants for the Lord. Whatever I assume of other believers should be assumed generously. I should assume that we have the same, unifying intentions: to honor God in all we do. Whatever I assume of non-believers should also be assumed generously: that they are deserving of God’s love, and therefore my kindness, not my disdain. I can absolutely agree that those who follow Christ live for the glory of God, and no one else’s glory… including my own.

Earlier in the chapter Paul writes, “A person should think of us in this way: as servants of Christ and managers of the mysteries of God. 2 In this regard, it is required that managers be found faithful. 3 It is of little importance to me that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I don’t even judge myself. 4 For I am not conscious of anything against myself, but I am not justified by this. It is the Lord who judges me. 5 So don’t judge anything prematurely, before the Lord comes, who will both bring to light what is hidden in darkness and reveal the intentions of the hearts. And then praise will come to each one from God.”

I am back at the start in some ways. In my pride, I’ve hit a stumbling block. Thankfully, those stumbles do not have to completely derail my faith walk. I am still a servant of Christ. So, rather than digging deeper into a hole where I stumbled, I can choose to ask the Lord for help. I have chosen to open my bible more. I can choose to consider those around me as I apply God’s word to my life. The work is slow. It is not always steady. I have to return again and again. I need to read and re-read. But God’s word is realigning my heart once again.

That is often the first step we need to take. Rather than doom-scrolling, planning ahead, or listening to another T.V. show or podcast, open your bible. Check yourself and attitudes against God’s word. Seek the Lord in your daily life.

Perhaps you have found yourself in an attitude rut recently, too? Feel free to join me. Open your bible and start reading. 1 Corinthians is a good place to start. Let’s take this spring reset together.

Leah Honnen is a wife, momma, and infertility warrior living in Jacksonville, IL. She works in Academic Affairs at Illinois College and volunteers at her church, but loves to quilt in her free time. Leah writes on lessons from her life - through infertility, motherhood, music, friendships, and more on Instagram @leahhonnen.